Some thoughts on the S word.

Singleness
Once again I was at a party last night where it felt that a hot topic of conversation was relationships and how Christian guys need to be more relaxed about asking girls out as girls are getting confused etc etc. (groan! - I'm at a church which can often seem like a 'meat market' but then what do you expect when there are many young single people in the congregation). On the way home I ended up feeling really quite depressed with the whole situation as some of us are not going there solely to find a spouse...but yes I do find singleness difficult as everyone does at times, but is it really the gift that no one wants?

So we have been going through 1 Corinthians in small group and got to chapter 7 about a month ago, which was quite a difficult passage to read on marriage and singleness. What I mainly got from the passage was that we need to learn to be content in the situation that we are in (v.17-24). As I read it face value, it seemed that Paul valued singleness over marriage, as he expresses that it is better for single people to remain single as they are. Yet bringing in context of course, v.25 and 26 are addressed to a specific situation- the "virgins" he speaks to are meant to mean those engaged to unbelievers who are not sure what to do- he says better to call it off. And of course the "present crisis" of the Church was that they were being persecuted which brings in more problems if you are married- it was far better for Paul to remain single as his ministry was to share the gospel whilst in prison. If he had been married with a wife and family to worry about him and be endangered also, he would not have taken so many risks in sharing the gospel.

But obviously we are not all Paul and in the past I have read this passage and felt with guilt that as I am single I should go off to a far away place and share the gospel. But then I'm missing half the point! Clearly one of the blessings of being single is that you can do that, however I don't think Paul is saying we should all go and seek persecution or say because I am single now, I will remain single and be a missionary forever... But Paul does seem to be putting the message across that we should be content with and use the gifts God has given you in the situation you find yourself in.

And we should value singleness whether temporary, long-term, out of choice or not... I am seeing my singleness as a gift at the moment because it means I have a lot more time to spend with God, to build friendships with people, get more involved with church and just do lots of fun stuff without having to consider someone else's diary as well as my own! And lets face it- being in a relationship is something we have placed on a pedestal and we forget that they are hard work.

So in this current climate of hype about relationships, I am going to force myself or rather pray to remember the truth that everything I need (even my needs of intimacy) can be found in Christ and in fellowship with his people, and I can overflow with joy in him alone. If I find someone then great and if not then great also!

I realise I have only just scratched the surface on what 1 Corinthians says, and of course all my mixed feelings on the whole relationships issue are like anyone's somewhat confused, but as always the answer is to fix my eyes back to Jesus! There are so many things and thoughts that vie for my time before God, and so many things I idolise but thankfully God cares more about my holiness than I do and is the strength in my fight for joy in him. We definitely need to be reminding ourselves and each other that what we have in this life is temporary and what a much more amazing future we have to come!